Life After Loss: How to Reconnect with the World After Losing a Spouse

Self-care is the best gift you can give yourself when grieving. You will feel better, physically, and mentally when your needs are met. Get plenty of sleep, eat healthy foods, take vitamins, shower, and make time to socialize with loved ones when you’re feeling lonely. Be honest with yourself about what you need and allow yourself to have it. 

Don’t rush the healing process. Pushing yourself too far too fast will cause you to burn out emotionally and backslide. Trust your instincts. You’ll know when it’s time to get back out there and find your purpose in life again.

It’s easy to beat yourself up when you’re having a down day. You have a thousand things on your to-do list, but you were too depressed to get out of bed and accomplish anything. Now you feel miserable and like a waste of space — but you’re not. Don’t believe the lies that depression and grief tell you. Remind yourself that you are loved, you are important, and it’s ok to have a down day now and then.

Down days happen to everyone, so don’t get discouraged. Time will pass, and you won’t feel this way forever. You’ll always miss your spouse, and they’ll always have a special place in your heart and your memories, but your story isn’t over yet. You still have a life to live and a world to explore. Your life is waiting for you whenever you’re ready to start living it again.

Surround yourself with people who have experienced a similar loss. Support groups are perfect for when you feel ready to socialize again. It can be challenging spending time with people who haven’t been through what you have. Members of a support group will get you in a way that others just can’t. 

They are familiar with the pain and the rollercoaster of highs and lows. Support groups are a safe place for you to feel what you feel, and they are a great source of information for learning how to cope with your grief.

The last thing you want to do when you’re grieving is managing your finances and paying bills. If your spouse always took care of it for you, that can make it even more challenging to handle. Consider hiring a professional to manage your finances for you, so it’s one less thing you have to worry about. The more you can lighten your load, the better.

Check all of your policies for health, dental, vision, auto, home, and any other insurance policies you purchased with your spouse. Changes will need to be made depending on your unique situation. You are going to need to start new policies for yourself if your spouse was the policyholder or the insurance was purchased through their employer. 

Check to see if you qualify for Medicaid or if you need to purchase new health insurance.

Did you and your spouse own property or automobiles that were in both your names? 

You will need to provide the lenders with notification of your spouse’s passing and have them put into your name. This includes any other property you might have cosigned on together as well.

Changes would need to be made to your Will and Advance Directive if they included your spouse. You will need to decide what to do with your assets and property and select a new emergency contact on your Advance Directive. Don’t put these decisions off for too long. It’s important to take care of them as soon as you feel you can handle it.

Avoiding your loved ones is common when you’re grieving. How can you spend time hanging out with your friends when you lost the love of your life? You don’t feel like making small talk, and nothing seems more important than your loss.

Eventually, you will need to reconnect with your friends again. Start slow and suggest activities that don’t involve much talking. Go to the movies, horseback riding, see a concert or anything that gets you spending time together in a situation where you feel comfortable.

Spending time with your family is just as important as spending time with your friends. Visit with your kids, grandkids, or other relatives you are close to. You can take them to do similar activities that avoid awkward talks. Your family won’t care what you do when you’re together. They will be happy just spending time with you.

Kids can put a smile on your face and give you a new perspective on life in unexpected ways. Offer to babysit your grandkids and take them somewhere fun. A trip to the zoo, library, or park would do you and them a lot of good. They will enjoy the time they spend with you, and you’ll have new memories to keep you company on lonely nights.

An enjoyable hobby gives you something to occupy your mind, and completing projects is very rewarding. Pick up crocheting, knitting, photography, writing, puzzles, or any hobby of your choosing. Seek out groups or clubs centered around your hobby and attend the meetings. Hobbies make excellent ice breakers and are perfect ways to connect with people who have similar interests.

Yoga has numerous physical and mental health benefits. The meditative aspect of yoga is therapeutic for people coping with grief or struggling with depression. Take a beginner’s class and give it a try. You might be amazed at the difference it makes in your life. Visit several studios and test them out until you find your favorite one. 

Get out and volunteer when you’re going stir crazy and feel the need to do something that has meaning. You can sign up for shifts at the homeless shelters, charity organizations, and animal shelters in your area. Find a cause that you feel good about supporting and donate your time to it.

Dating is probably the furthest thing from your mind right now, but at some point, you should put yourself back out there. Your life doesn’t have to stop because your spouse is gone. Permit yourself to love again, and when you’re ready, take that step.

Start slow and forgive yourself for any embarrassing or awkward moments. Depending on how long you were married, dating might seem foreign to you. Don’t worry. It’ll come back to you with practice. The important thing to keep in mind is not to rush it. Take your time and don’t force yourself to start dating until you feel like you’re truly ready.