by Jennifer Pollard
After years of working with Octogenarians, nothing surprises me. In fact, that may be the best part. The same things we experience early in our lives can also be experienced later in life. Best of all is witnessing the life lessons they teach us. Like love can be better, or equally wonderful, the second time around.
Seeing the cherished framed pictures in an elder’s room tells a story all on it’s own. When I met Helen, she had atop her bureau, two framed pictures of men, side-by-side. I asked her to tell me the story of those gentleman and naively assumed they were her devoted brothers or sons. She shared they were her guardian angels. They had both been great loves of her life.
The man on the left was the first love of her life when she was young and pre-career. He died suddenly of a heart attack in his 40’s and left her broken-hearted. She thrived in her career as an elementary school teacher and then principal. To her surprise, she found love again in her 50’s when she was settled in her career and happy with her life. She hadn’t expected a second love. She hadn’t expected outliving both her husbands. And she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. She loved both deeply and was grateful for the time she had with each.
Into each life, more than one season of spring may come. A season of change, renewal and new joy. To some, true love may come just once. But then again, love may spring again and be lovelier the second time around.
“The Second Time Around,” words by Sammy Cahn and music by Jimmy Van Heusen, debuted in High Time, a 1960 film, with Bing Crosby on vocals. Later, the song was nominated for an Academy Award and became a standard song for Frank Sinatra to perform. Dedicated to my dear Octogenarians, this one is for you:
Love is lovelier the second time around
Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground.
It’s that second time you hear your love song sung
Makes you think perhaps that love, like youth, is wasted on the young.
Love’s more comfortable the second time you fall.
Like a friendly home the second time you call.
Who can say what brought us to this miracle we’ve found?
There are those who’ll bet love comes but once, and yet
I’m oh, so glad we met the second time around.
Who can say what brought us to this miracle we’ve found?
There are those who’ll bet love comes but once, and yet
I’m oh, so glad we met the second time around.
Have you found love a second time? Are you inspired by music in your golden years? I’d love to have you share your stories with me.
– Jennifer Pollard, MSW, is a geriatric care manager with AOS Care Manager who has a passionate musical connection she shares with her clients. Her career has taught her the powerful role music has in preserving and unlocking our memories. ‘Better living through lyrics’ has become her motto.