Whenever I talk about “Caregiver Craziness,” I get some pushback from health care professionals and educators. They don’t like the use of the word crazy. I remind them that my use of crazy has nothing to do with mental challenges; it has everything to do with how the stresses of caregiving make us feel, think, and act.
When I am talking to a group of family caregivers and ask, “How many of you believe caregiving makes you crazy?” almost every hand in the room will go up.
The craziness of caregiving is due to the impact of the stress on five areas of life. I call them, “The 5 H’s: Health, Head, Heart, Home and Hands (Work).”
The areas interconnect. For example, if a caregiver’s health suffers, her condition can have an impact on how she thinks, the emotions she feels, how smoothly family relationships flow, and how efficient and effective she might be on the job.
The 5 H’s
Health: You can’t give it if you don’t have it to give. The negative health impact of caregiving stress is well known. A recent study by the Pew Research Center found caregivers are “likely to report poor health themselves.” According to the Family Caregiver Alliance, caregivers often experience increased blood pressure and insulin levels that may cause an impaired immune system, and they may be at higher risk of cardiovascular disease. You must maintain and, in some cases, improve your health if you hope to continue to be a successful caregiver.
Your Head: How distracted would you be if someone came to you and said, “You must immediately learn quantum physics. The life of your loved one and, probably, your life, will depend on how well you do in this subject, starting right now?” Do you think you might lose your car keys, or forget where you parked your car at the mall, or miscalculate a grocery bill? Caregiving responsibilities don’t constitute just one more thing to think about in your life, they represent a new life for which caregivers are rarely prepared.
Your Heart: How does caregiver stress affect emotions? Research estimates that 40-70 percent of caregivers have clinically significant symptoms of depression, with approximately one quarter to one-half of these caregivers meeting the diagnostic criteria for major depression. The feeling, “I want my life back,” and caregivers’ beliefs that they have lost their loved ones often create an emotional weight too great to easily bear. The combination of shock, anger, fear, guilt, denial, and compassion fatigue leaves a stunning number of caregivers suffering from depression.
Your Home: Family responsibilities and staying ahead of the clutter and chaos of maintaining your home can be full-time jobs in themselves. During your caregiving experience, you need to find ways to ask for help from family and friends and look for shortcuts and suggestions for filling needs from preparing meals to creating a haven for yourself.
Your Hands (Work): Trying to juggle caregiving and your work-life often becomes an overwhelming source of stress. Studies show that caregivers often suffer lower pay and fewer career opportunities due to their caregiving responsibilities.
In the coming months, I’ll offer tips, tactics, and strategies to help deal with each of “The 5 H’s.” For now, take care of yourself, ask more questions and understand that you are doing the best you can.
©2015 Mike Collins.